i hate change. and i wanted everything to be constant, because ostensibly life seemed immaculate. but my heart wouldnt allow it. nothing terrible has happened, nothing contentious and controvertible. maybe i changed. what was once jubilant and inspirational turned into something else. i certainly did not want it. even now i still think to myself, why? why allow me to build up a bastion, only to raze it to ashes. and then leave me with this monstrous midden to contend with.
just want to say, i did it because of the inevitability. if i appear unchanged, unaffected, aloof, its just a mask of indifference i force myself to don. if i didnt, i wouldn't have the soul to step out of my shell and continue with my life.
i have poisoned my heart, and i hope the venom does not seep through to yours.
not in the mood to write anymore
taika told you a secret at
1:59 AM
.
so tired
cant blog
anyone interested in doing a very informal study on the role of music as literature? more specifically, want to look at how progressive and contemporary music references literary works and/or acts as a complex art form. records i have in mind are dream theater's metropolis 2 : scenes from a memory, a change of seasons, etc; and coheed and cambria's good apollo i'm burning star IV. discussions and insights welcome. just tag meee
i love egg mayo
taika told you a secret at
4:46 AM
.